Look Me in the Eyes | 你不願看見的我

Genre
類型
Documentary 紀實

Length
預計片長
30′

Production Stage
製作進度
Work-In-Progress 製作中

Total Budget
總預算
US$ 54,487

Goal 參與目標
Script Refining, Funds, Co-producer 
完善劇本、籌集資金、聯合監製

Logline 故事摘要
Opposite-attract misfits, a timid queer filmmaker (24) and an outspoken gender professor (61) become inseparable friends on a journey to make a film that challenges mainstream norms. But as they start working together, everything begins to fall apart. This personal documentary examines themes of friendship, loyalty and disappointment.
羞怯酷兒導演和敢言性別學者,兩個邊緣人聯手製作電影對抗主流,成為摯友,隨著一切崩塌,這部私密紀錄片檢視友情、忠誠與失望。

Synopsis 故事大綱
FL (24) has struggled to find his voice until he meets gender professor YY (61), whom he sees as an avant-garde in their field. In 2019, YY faced public ostracism from her peers, and FL saw his own history of being bullied reflected in the challenges that his idol was facing. They become inseparable and decide to create a documentary aimed at challenging public biases.
YY’s reputation remains under attack, and she pins her hopes on the documentary to speak for herself. FL persists in filming, but as years pass, YY grows increasingly impatient for the film’s completion. But the more she criticises, the more FL withdraws. He becomes fearful of YY’s disappointment, and over time, this fear transforms into resentment. FL starts to see YY in a different light. The idealised version of YY that he had constructed in his mind starts to crumble, and he begins to see the cracks in his fantasy of her as a perfect, saintly figure.
The duo decides to embark on a month-long walking trip for self-discovery. The intimacy of this journey unravels years of hurt and disappointment, ultimately leading to the realisation that neither of them accepts each other for who they are. 
This film captures the delicate balance between the strength and fragility of a friendship built on hopes for salvation and healing.

FL(24)一直找不到自己的聲音,直至他遇上前衛既敢言的性別教授YY(61) 。2019年,YY被同儕公開唾棄。FL在偶像身上看見過去同被欺凌而噤聲的自己,他倆因共同傷痛走到一起,決意拍攝紀錄片對抗公眾偏見。
YY被猛烈抨擊,名聲一落千丈,寄望FL的電影代之發聲。FL繼續拍攝,多年過去電影進展依然緩慢,YY耐性漸失,但她愈加批評,他愈加退縮。他怕令YY失望,而害怕漸變成不滿:她並非他以為的人,他的偶像幻想裂痕漸深。
二人為尋找自我展開長達一月的徒步旅行,朝夕相處的親密暴露了多年隱藏的暗湧和失望,最後兩人自覺真實面貌不被對方接納而爆發衝突。
電影揭示了對救贖與療癒的期許使友誼堅韌同時脆弱。

 

Director’s Statement 導演闡述
As a survivor of a gay bashing incident on campus, I experienced the crushing weight of silence that followed. Even after leaving school, the alienation continued, and the unspoken rule remained unchanged: “Your suffering is trivial.” So, I kept my silence, and my grudges amassed. 
In 2019, I strongly identified with YY’s tragic encounter of being expelled from the collective movement, and I began to follow her. However, during the process, I found myself suppressing my own voice even when I disagreed with her, out of fear of losing her acceptance. 
Yet, my anger eventually built up and overflowed after 3 years, leading to the breakdown of our relationship. This film is my exploration of what happened, and raises the question of whether love endures when our true selves are revealed to those closest to us. Can we accept each other once again? And if not, how can we break free from the cycle of hurt that often perpetuates itself from one person to another?
Through my debut, I aim to explore the delicate nature of intimacy and illuminate the fragility of friendship. By shedding light on these important topics, I hope to foster a future where differences are acknowledged, explored, and transcended.

我曾因同志身份遭受校園欺凌、滅聲。離開校園後,我依然格格不入,各種潛規則仍在表達:「你的苦痛微不足道。」因此我在無聲中累積怨恨。
2019年,YY被群眾運動唾棄觸及我過往的傷痛,所以我追隨她展開拍攝為她平反,也為過往的自己發聲。拍攝過程中,我渴求她的接納,習慣性地壓抑己見,隱去對她的異議。
三年間日積月累的憤怒終於爆發,我們的友誼亦岌岌可危。在這部電影,我檢視爭吵的來龍去脈,叩問:當我們向最親近的人展露真我,愛仍能持續嗎?我們還能重新接納對方嗎?如若不能,我們怎樣逃出「受傷者傷人」這個迴圈?
這部作品探索親密關係,暴露友誼脆弱的一面,冀能築建差異可被探索、克服和超越的未來。

Director 導演

Felix Christopher HUI 許天樂
Graduated from the University of Hong Kong, HUI is an aspiring queer filmmaker with a passion for presenting a nuanced perspective on the identities of the oppressed. His recent work, Our Imagined Future – If Someone Sees This after We Are Dead has been archived at Goethe-Institut, a documentary short about unwanted voices from within pro-democracy movements. 

Felix是畢業於香港大學的酷兒電影製作人,積極追求細膩地呈現被壓迫者的多元面貌。他最近的紀錄短片《我們想像的未來 – 這些死後才可放映的錄像》備受認可並被收錄於歌德學院,記錄民主運動中被排拒的聲音。

Creative Consultant 創意顧問

Sharon YEUNG 楊曉芙
YEUNG is a Canadian-Hong Kong director-producer who makes documentaries in short, feature and immersive formats. Her recent immersive work MADE: meet me at the end of the assembly line, is a VR doc that follows an iPhone factory worker in China and Create Your Own, an award winning interactive doc about young people’s search for meaning. Her current feature doc has been funded by Chicken & Egg, and pitched at CPH:DOX, IDFA, Sheffield and Sundance. She is a DOCNYC and IDFA DocLab fellow.

Sharon 是一名香港導演和監製。近期作品《MADE: meet me at the end of the assembly line》是描寫中國 iPhone 工廠女工故事的 VR 紀錄片。 她於 2017 創立紀錄片製作公司 Singing Cicadas。她目前的紀錄長片得到了 Chicken & Egg 的資助,並在 CPH:DOX、 IDFA、Sheffield 和 Sundance 進行了提案。